Consent is not enough
It's always the same shit. I go to the meeting, I'm the only one masked - or maybe there's two of us, on a good day - and I make the case that holding a big social event indoors with no ventilation or testing is hosting a superspreader. The easiest, most reliable prevention tool is mandating mask-wearing (with some leeway for people who literally can't do it). There's a local mask bloc, you don't even have to pay a dime. The counter-argument is always the same, though: we can't ask people to wear masks, because consent is key.
I sigh. I wince. I fail to develop the cogent rebuttal that is so obvious to me, because I have not honed it enough. This article is an attempt at honing it. Well, part 2 will be. Let's start with the screed.
AAAAAAAAAAAA
Do you seriously think I enjoy wearing a mask everywhere I go?
No, really, ask yourself this question. Do you seriously, genuinely, actually think that I would do this if I did not believe with all my heart that it is necessary?
Do you seriously think I enjoy researching suppliers, spending money, coordinating group orders to save on shipping from the few sellers that still make the models we like, adjusting nose wires? Do you really think that my idea of fun is adjusting headstraps every time I step into a metro station and ensuring that I carry spares in case I have reused a FFP2 too much and the elastics give way without warning?
Fuck's sake, I've got three helix piercings and long hair and wired headphones, you should see the detangling acrobatics I must do every single time.
Okay, you don't consent to wearing a mask because... go figure, it's baffling to me. What about my consent to being exposed to pathogens, then? Do I get to (not) consent or did you just deny me the choice once again?
No, really. Believe it or not, despite how obnoxious y'all get in your naked embrace of eugenics, I would in fact enjoy spending time with you. However, per the risk reduction principles you so love to claim to embrace, that requires risk to be discussed openly and consent to be given freely, without pressure.
How can I consent if the risk is maximal and you make no effort to reduce it? You're giving me the choice between risking my health in major ways and simply not being there, preferably while waxing poetic about how access to community and the sex life we want are vital to existing while queer.
One-way masking is not enough. This has been documented for years. Your ignorance is deliberate at this point.
Motherfucker, what access to community can I have if I can't even breathe in the same room as you?
With that out of the way
Okay. Now that I have established that I am a human being with emotions and refined taste in aging memes, because this is somehow a required prerequisite to any lecture on this topic, let's talk about sex and drugs (not rock 'n' roll).
That is what the consent framework was built for, isn't it? That is what the harm reduction framework was built for. Faced with an airborne pathogen that can disable you for years - often for life, as far as we know so far - both of those buckled and broke.
You can, for the most part, choose not to fuck or do drugs. This is simplistic in the case of addiction, obviously, but please work from the assumption that I know that and simply have to take some shortcuts to avoid writing the goddamn Silmarillion over here. This choice means the points at which you give, withhold or retract consent are highly specific.
There is excellent stuff out there about how consent to sex is never really free or sufficient. I will also set this aside for simplicity because I am still not writing the goddamn Silmarillion. Go read the linked article instead, it's good.
You can't choose not to breathe.
Let me reiterate: you can't choose not to breathe. Not for long, at least.
What does this imply in a space where no precautions against airborne pathogens are taken? It means that consenting to risk exposure is done by merely being present. Withdrawing consent means being absent.
This is not true of STIs. With those you can hang out, talk, flirt, even do a significant number of interesting activities with lower or no risk. A historian at a recent event - unmasked - reminded us of "jacking off parties" at the height of the AIDS pandemic in gay communities.
You're free to feel things out. To explore. To play, then decide you are done playing. To consent to one thing and not to another. To consent to a thing once but not twice.
You can't choose not to breathe.
FFP2 respirators are rated for 94% filtration. FFP3 for 99%. This is assuming the fit is flawless, which it rarely is, especially while talking and moving and doing a number of interesting activities. Therefore, the longer I stick around, the closer I am to someone who does not take precautions and does not get tested, the worse the risk gets. 1% or 6% of a very large number is still unsafe. One-way masking is not enough. This is extremely well-documented.
That is without even getting into what it does to human relationships to be faced with the respiratory equivalent of "I refuse to wear a condom, just take the pill and be on PreP".
You can't choose not to breathe.
We all agree that people will take risks anyway. There are tools, each fit to purpose. Condoms. PreP. PEP. Special straws. Clean needles. Should someone make the choice to take a risk, you will offer them those tools. They might say no. Most often, the only person they'll hurt in refusing those tools is themselves.
By refusing to use the tools preventing the spread of airborne pathogens, you hurt yourself but also others. You make it impossible for me to give free consent. Imagine if every fag in the world refused to use condoms and demanded you just go on PreP if you want to get laid. Can we all agree that would suck? Can we all agree it would demonstrate a truly staggering lack of empathy and understanding of science?
I can't choose not to breathe. But you can choose to wear a mask.
We can choose, together, to build a culture of care rather than a culture of false consent. We can create spaces where everyone has room to explore, be curious and have new experiences. Maybe this is in fact about rock 'n' roll: earplugs only do so much. If every single concert is too loud, you eventually have no choice but to stop going.